Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
As shirtless as possible
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
