I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
