It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
