I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
