FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
