Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
