The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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