oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Holy sore nipples Batman
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
