Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize