Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
