i just had sex bonerless
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The beer is more important than you right now.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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