I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
