hotel room ftw
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
