he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
