Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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