hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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