Who wears a wallet chain?!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
