Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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