I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
