she was so not down for the gang bang
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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