ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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