im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
