I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
