when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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