Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Randomize
