Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
