the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
