You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
