It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
