it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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