Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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