i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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