you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
