You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
