he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize