Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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