Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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