Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
