If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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