Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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