I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hippo gnu deer
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
