Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
