Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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