i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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