sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
smell my finger.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
