but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
