Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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