Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
