i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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