when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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