But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
