Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
