She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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