Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
