Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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