i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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