Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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