Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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